So very homesick

I am so home sick it hurts. The last few days I have been missing my old life of being a stay at home mom and the quiet life that we had.

This week has barely started and it has been a stressful one. Yesterday I got to work and there was 4 first call sheets and then we had 4 more calls. So I have had a long 2 days and the week is not over and from the schedule it is going to be a very long busy week.

Yesterday Truckerman was at chapel and they announced that a young man that he had befriended, that had been in some of his classes and was a presem student like Truckerman, had taken his life that morning. What a shock. It seems that it may have been a reaction from the medication that he was taking, that was a side effect. This is something that we all are having trouble wrapping our minds around.

The cramped quarters we are in (we haven't moved just yet), the noise, the long hours at work, and the traffic are really getting to me this last few days. I am having a hard time dealing with it all right now.


I had called a couple of friends tonight to see how everyone from church were doing and it really made me that much more homesick. I talked to a gentleman that I had grown very fond of. He is 85 years old and he is having a lot of health issues. I then talked to another friend from church and she informed me that one of my ladies (there are 3 women from church that I called my ladies all the time) was losing weight rapidly and is down to about 65 lbs. and another lady that I enjoyed visiting with from the other church in our parish may have cancer and her health is failing quickly.

I feel helpless here that I can't be there to be with them. They are my family.

What also bothered me was the fact that 2 of them have been unable to attend church for many months and our pastor did not call them, did not visit them and did not bring them communion. On top of that a couple weeks before Christmas he had a meeting with the parish and told them that he was finished the next day for health reasons. One days notice!! Ya right!!! There are other things going on there as well but there is not enough time in the day to rant about it and explain everything. But when there are 16-20 people that attend per week you have to notice that people haven't been there for months on end. Especially when one of them is an elder.

I just want to hide away somewhere and cry. I was walking to my car one morning and was not impressed that I was having trouble hearing the snow crunching under my boots because the noise is so loud here.

Truckerman was not here to talk to so I called our pastor here in the city and talked with him which helped me to be able to talk to him if I need to. I never had that with our pastor at home. There is only one other pastor that I have ever felt comfortable talking to about things especially about my feelings. It is nice to feel comfortable talking to him if Truckerman is not there for me to talk to about things.